I Stand In Awe of My Body

I can’t help gettng a little “emo” on my birthday. (That’s short for emotional, teary eyed,  mascara dripping stuff).

The emotions come from the recognition and gratitude about where I stand today in relation to where I stood as my “old” (former) self and state of being.

And boy, is this body resilient, responsive and forgiving! WOW.

TODAY I STAND IN AWE OF MY BODY and I thank you Henry David Thoreau for this quote that I had embroidered on my jacket. Lest I forget, it serves as a pleasant reminder. By now you know how I feel about reminders and post it notes are everywhere in my house.  The jacket seemed like a good idea.

But it wasn’t always this way. For most of my life, I beat the crap out of this poor body and I wasn’t very nice to it.
aweofmybody I am sometimes sad for that “other” woman who spent 49 years losing weight in order to find her self.

For 49 years I tried to change my body. I hated it, covered it up, talked mean about it, talked even meaner to it, stuffed it and starved it. You could and often would find my head stuck in a jar of peanut butter or hung over the toilet bowl. 

Someone else would have dumped me by now with that kind of treatment. But not my body. It stood by me.

Through all of those painful experiences and lessons, I have come to this new place of confident acceptance of who I am. I am confident and knowing that I can rock this world in any way I choose. I am confident that I am enough.

It took me stepping on stage at 50 years old, half naked in a blink bikini, in nearly perfect physical shape, in front of judges, who compared my body to other “younger” women,  to understand that the beauty I possessed had been inside me all along.  I carried it deep inside of me and it wasn’t until that moment on stage that I realized that fact. I was unable to stop the flow of confidence from oozing out of me all over the place.

Oh yes. People noticed. They said things like, “You have best stage presence I’ve seen”. “Your confidence is very sexy”.

I was wowed how at this age and on that stage that I had fallen in love. With me. I was finally willing to own the beauty that partnered with my confidence in such a strong way that I could not resist feeling it and sharing it.  I own my beauty at 52,  inside and out, like never before.  I look back at photos of how “pretty” I actually was when I was in my 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and I am sad that I never noticed. I am sad that I spend all of my earlier days trying to be thinner and change my body because I hated being in it. Focused only on a diet or a binge and living my life according to which day it was in my “eating/food saga.

Sure, these creepy thoughts try to creep back in every once and again. But… I have become accustomed to noticing those thoughts and letting them go.  So they come and they go. Briefly and sporadically now with grace and ease. I acknowledge with a smile how “nice” they are to think of me and I send them on their merry way with a “Ciao for now”.  Then I go put on a pretty article of clothing as a reminder and an act of love and adornment and self love.

I realize that many women are missing this whole self love piece. And what the heck is that anyway? And how do you begin the art of self love?

I’ll tell you what does happen. Lack of self love is easily detectible as it shows up on the outside, usually in overweight or a general “slumpy” look and feel. You know what I am talking about.

Overweight is an outward sign of things gone array on the inside and our lack of self care and love. We forget all about ourself and drown out our feelings with food. Instead of facing them head on and embracing them with open arms. Because that is not always pleasant at the moment, we stuff them down with food or use food to fill them up. And it works, at least for the moment. 

All those thoughts and limiting belief’s about who you are, who you are not and what you can do, be and have, or not, and those feelings of worthlessness and non-importance wreak havoc on your body and soul. This sh*t shows up on the outside!

It’s why I am passionate about helping woman get our of this PLACE of just okay and merely existing to having an X-traordinary life living in an x-tremely cared for body.  Our bodies crave health. Our bodies are resilient. Your healthiest, sexiest body shows up for you when you consistently treat it well.

If you are not happy where you are, or you are feeling like everything is just okay… you can make a ‘move’ out of that space. Join me for 40 GUIDED days so you can learn the self care principals that will change the way you think and feel about your one very precious body. Changing the way you think and feel is the prescription you need to change your body. It really is that simple.

SN40X will take you there as you x-perience for 40 days the art and practice of self lovin n care. Contact me at [email protected] and we’ll get you set up so that you can embrace with awe and gratitude that one very precious body that you find yourself in.

I STAND IN AWE OF MY BODY.  Join Me and stand in awe of your one very precious self. 



This machine does not eat cookies,

unless of course, they are naked.

Here’s a naked cookie recipe that you

can even eat for breakfast. Because your one

very precious body deserves the best

food you can give it.  

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