How to Say Thank You When You Are Really Pissed Off
If a “Think Tank” is a place where you sit around and think to create great ideas, then a “Thank Tank” is a place where you let your gratitude sit to create a great life.
In one of my overwhelming super-flows of gratitude , I started to think about all of the people that deserved a “thank you” from me. What if instead of just thinking about it, I took action and actually did it.
Okay it’s really easy to reach out and thank someone when they give you something that feels good. You can give them a call, send them a card, drop off a pie. (Try this strawberry delite)
But how do you say thank you when you are pissed off?
What about those who gift you lessons that don’t always feel good at the time? What about those people who make you feel crappy and cause you to feel pain? You may be saying, “Why in the heck would I ever thank them?” But if you really got honest about it and dug deep (more on how to do your digging later) you would be unwrapping the brilliant gift that they delivered for you. It’s not going to be wrapped in a pretty package. Ouch and Wowsa! I know what you are thinking now…WTF! I never said it was easy. But it is simple, it is doable and it is divine. And most of all, I will tell you that it is worth it.
(BTW, I’m not sharing stuff without proof that it works. Number one, Gratitude is a Universal Law. Number Two, Gratitude is a spiritual practice and one that is so powerful that if you were to only focus your attention here, would have profound changes to your life. And in my personal experience, I have two “exes” that I now adore. But OMG, trust me, it was not always the case. But now, it is blissfully delightful and peaceful. It’s a win-win-win for all of us!)
So let’s get back to your Thank Tank. It’s your time.
Finding the gratitude in something/ someone that hurt you is healing. It takes you out of “Victim Hood” (which you know just plain ole’ sucks if you’ve been hanging out there for any length of time. Victim Hood leaves you powerlessly wimpy and whiney and annoying ). Gratitude also takes you out of resentment, and pissed-off-ness (which you know takes tons of your precious energy and depletes other areas in your life. It stops you dead in your tracks from moving on to fun stuff because you’re always too pissed off to enjoy anything and no one likes to hang around a pissy-ass complaining pain in the ass).
Gratitude is your healer. You don’t have to go anywhere, spend any money, join a course or hire a guru. You can do this all by yourself. As a matter of fact, you have to do it all by yourself. You have to go within. You have to sit and think. Grow a pair and go on in. Clean up the crap so you can be free to live and love.
Washing away the crap and hurt leads you to the prize. And that is where it gets really good. That is when you can feel free, feel amazing, feel powerful, feel peaceful, feel loving.
Whew. Your release is your relief.
And here is the great part. You don’t have to do the thanking in person, face to face. But your Thank Tank is not an option if you want to grow, expand, keep your heart open, and feel good stuff. For those yummy goodies, you need to acknowledge in whatever way possible your gratitude for that which got you here (and that includes those painful lessons delivered by people who are not on your Fan List). But if you remember that “here” is exactly where you are supposed to be, you have to appreciate that catalyst that catapulted you to this point right here. “Here” is your divine path.
I promise, your gratitude is the big shifter. Gratitude, appreciation and thanks shift you big time. They shift you to power, to creation, to love. They shift you out of poor me-ness and up into the best version of yourself that you can be.
So who can you thank right now?
I know. Suck it up. It’ll be worth it.
Here is a step by step guide for digging for the gold that will lead you to the gratitude.
1. Take out your beautiful journal and make 2 lists. List One is for the easily recognizable people who you may have be remiss at thanking. List them and decide what you will do to let them know how much you appreciate them. A call, a card, a visit, a pie? List Two is for the more challenging “situations”.
2. List Two peeps take a little more time. However long it takes is not the issue. There is no right or wrong here. Just starting starts the ball in the right direction so start with a “DEAR……, letter. (If a simple “Dear…… is all you can do today, that’s okay, you’ve started).
Sit with this for a few moments, put your hand on your heart, close your eyes and connect in. Start with a clean page and let it all pour onto the paper. It’s perfectly okay to start out pissed off, but as you dig in and let go, you’ll feel better and you find the sparkling shiny brilliant gold. It is there, I promise. The more you thank it for showing up, the richer you’ll become.
For example, your letter can look something like this (fill in the blanks and expand on this)
DEAR…..,
You friggin’ suck. And I am really pissed off that you….. How dare you do….
I thought it would be…… I thought you would be… I wish you had……
But now I see that …..And if this hadn’t happened, I never would have done….. and if this hadn’t happened, I never would
have met…..and if that hadn’t happened, this amazing thing wouldn’t have happened….. and if that and wow… so actually, I am grateful to you for all these lessons……. that showed me all these amazing things……. and introduced me to these amazing things………… and so thank you thank you thank you.
3. This letter never gets mailed to the recipient. It’s your’s to keep, burn, bury. It’s yours for the healing and growing and self discovery. And you may need to keep going back and continue the digging until you finally get clear on the genius of it all. Until you finally see that the divine path is all set out for you. (Need more work on this releasing, check out Sleeping Naked After 40 Guidebook, page 106.
It’s not easy. But it’s always always worth it. Give it time. Give yourself time and a loving pat on the back and a big hug because you are amazing. Go ahead and enter your Thank Tank. Spend time there every day. You’ll thank me for it. (I’ll take a pie and I’ll even thank you back)
And now I’ll take a second to thank you for being here, for showing up. For reading this blog. For opening up to these ideas. For digging deep and for growing yourself into the best version you can be.
Share how this exercise worked for you in the comments below.
xxoo,
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