Say Goodbye to your Evil Step Sisters, Woulda, Coulda and Shoulda

These three relentless undying siblings are the secret to your pain, angst and regret. When we direct our attention to the things we did that we wish were different, we set ourselves up for suffering.

The evil ones are intently waiting on your every move for the opportunity to dance at your pity party. They are standing in full out garb ready to make it a full-on Dance of the Dead sequel. These zombies of regret aren’t pretty.

You can always conjure up the thing that you did that you coulda done differently.  You can always conjure up what you woulda done differently if “this or that” or “he or she” did something different.  You can always conjure up what you shoulda done, once your hindsight is 20/20.

Now that you know this, it’s time to say goodbye (kinda like unfriending them on Facebook).  Your life is by invitation only.  You’re the one sending out the invitations. You get to choose who you hang out with. So leave them behind and let’s get this party started without them.

What can you do to stop regrets from creeping in?

Maybe you coulda, maybe you woulda, and maybe you shoulda. The fact is that you didn’t.  You can’t go back and change any of that.  But what you can change is the way you look at it from the vantage point of right now.

Life is filled with lessons. This is how we grow. It’s for our soul growth that lessons present themselves to us like little hidden gifts. Our life lessons take us closer to knowing who we really are.

Lessons are constantly coming but if you learn from them, they won’t need to be repeated.

I lost my home 10 years ago, and spent many years mourning that loss. Even now, when the moon of regret is full, that nasty one, Shoulda, rises up for a quick visit. She reminds me that I shoulda been more careful. I shoulda been smarter. I shoulda got a job. I shoulda set it up differently. 

You get the point…

If you want to be happy, you have to tell her to go away. 

You have to choose not to hang with her or let her drag you down.

So what do you do when you have one or all of these three sister’s rearing their ugly heads and ranting in your ear?

Put your earplugs in and your blinders on and look forward

… and you keep looking forward, and you keep looking forward and toward your light. Pay no attention to those haunting voices.  Your attention feeds them. However, if you don’t pay them any mind, they get tired and they go away.

Take a deep look at what you did learn and write it down

… include a list of all the golden gifts you received. For me, using my house example, I learned that it was my lack of self love that led me to that messy financial situation. It was my lack of self love that caused me to have to give up my home. I learned that a house does not define me but being at home with myself does.  My gift is this lesson and it’s a big one.So it’s okay… and I’m okay.

I want you to be okay with things that happened in your past. Give yourself the gift of putting your past to rest – allowing your present to be at peace. 

Practice doing something different when your evil step sister visits with her haunting voice. How can you find the gift?

Once you find the gift, it works like kryptonite, and her voice loses all power over you.

I believe happiness is the result of owning the gifts you’ve been given.

I’ve seen it over and over again, happiness follows every time.

To your freedom and your happiness,


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