Blog

Choosing Growth Over Comfort

When was the last time you did something that scared you… something outside your comfort zone?

Today, I’m having an OMCZ kinda day. That’s short for “Outside My Comfort Zone”…

I’m finalizing the edits on my online video course where I teach entrepreneurs how to create a card deck. I’ve done a fair amount of uncomfortable things in my life and after many years of working it, got a good grip on being able to feel the fear and do it anyway.

But damn!

That little bugger of an ego, is quite tenacious and persistent.

The ego is the part of us that is invested in keeping us small and scared. You’ll know it’s showing up when you hear it’s incessant voice in your head, the one that tries to convince you how you can’t do something. And it talks some crazy sh*t…

Although my course subject is one I’m really good at, one that is very familiar to me, one that comes really easy to me, I still have that dang voice talking nonsense.

It doesn’t care about the truth. It’s only interested in how you can’t. It happens to be worried that my course is too long or too short, or too good or not good enough, or too much information or not enough information. It’ll say things like, “What if people don’t buy it and what if they don’t like it?”.

OMG! What if they hate it?

OMCZ! You see the drama we create for ourselves.

As if that wasn’t enough for one day, I signed up for another competition.

NO! NO! It’s not another bodybuilding figure competition. I’ve done that twice already and I think that might be enough for one lifetime. (Ok! If you’re curious, I’ve posted the picture at the bottom for you)

This competition is called Stretch Yourself Challenge.

My business coach Kelly McCausey has been holding this challenge for the past 10 years. This is my first year stretching myself and building my content marketing muscles.

Participants choose from 15 challenges that must be completed within 30 days. It’s a competition where you compete against the weight of your own limiting beliefs. She’s made if fun by dangling yummy prizes!

Once again, the goal is to stretch beyond what you usually do. Another push out of the comfort zone with the ultimate goal to grow yourself and your business.

And what is comfort anyway?

Just as an FYI, growth and comfort cannot coexist.

Given that option, I choose growth. Unless your talking shoes – then comfort always wins.

Anyway, I’m inviting you to see where you are willing to do something scary, step it up, stretch OYCZ (outside your comfort zone), so that you can grow.

Whether you have a formal competition you can enter, prizes you want to win or even if and especially when no one is watching – can you stretch yourself, step in what might feel uncomfortable and embrace the growth?

With that question on your mind, you might start hearing that voice chime in, whispering unsweet nothings. You might here things like, you never finish anything, why start now, it’s too late, you’re not good enough, you don’t have the money, you don’t have the time, you don’t have the support and blah blah.

I’m not ready to let any small talk stop me — not this time and not anytime — because I know it’s just a trick.

This is what I do to get myself out of a situation where I’m being pulled away from what I know is good for me.

I practice my core principle of “FALL IN LOVE WITH THE IDEA”. In this case, that looks like my card deck course helping hundreds of heart centered authors, speakers and coaches get their message out into the world in a fun and beautiful way. I’m also falling in love with the idea that my Facebook Live (the one I chose for Kelly’s Stretch Yourself ) will be super fun and informative and that I’ll be the winner of that prize I’m wanting.

So I focus on that.

I let the ego play its game and then I thank it for sharing. Then firmly tell it, “I’m not interested in why I can’t” and explain that “I’ve fallen in love”.

Then somehow magically, my heart begins to lead the show, allowing opportunity, possibility, excitement and fun to show up all around me.

What are you willing to stretch yourself with ? Are you willing to allow your heart to lead your show?

xxoo,

PS. Sure! Go ahead and try my technique and see how it works for you. I’d love to hear about your experiment.

Here I am at 53… super proud of myself for stepping it up and OMCZ for this one!

It’s Time to Get Physical with Your People

We’re physical beings in a digital world, so it is any wonder that being so digital leaves people feeling a bit disconnected these days?

You’re trying to touch (or stay in touch) with humans in an increasingly digital world. The volume & velocity of information is a really awesome thing. We’re able to consume so much info by having it (literally) at our fingertips 24/7. But are we getting past those fingertips to the minds and hearts?

81% of all Americans own a smart phone. When we publish online content we offer instant gratification to almost any need – but is it actually creating the connection you want?

What if you can provide a touch sharing your unique gifts in a physical format people remember and even treasure. What if you could leave a real lasting impression on your client? That’s what we want – more then ever before. So how can we create that physical touch?

In Person Events

The human to human connection of events is certainly the most powerful.

We do in-person life events, trainings, workshops, retreats. Even when we’re not teaching, we do weekly networking to fulfill that primary need for connection. That’s why we still make eye contact, smile & give hugs, right ?

The Book

We still long for that physical, tangible touch even through the volume of the digital dynamo. How many physical books and other products have you bought from Amazon? I know even though I’ve got a beautiful iPad, running the latest operating system, I still use it to buy my physical books from my heroes & mentors that are piled by my bedside. But more about that later.

Speaking of Amazon, one of the icons of the digital age, even they have recently seen the light, and opened brick & mortar stores. Amazon got that we want that touchy-feely experience (they can’t do that through any screen) A “click” or a “swipe” is not necessarily a “connection”.

Tangible Training Products

Though we do create 100% virtual training online these days, to boost the sense of connection between teacher and student, especially where next steps will be offered, many trainers are providing a physical training binder shipping in the mail to support their online courses.

Turns Out, Putting Content In A Physical Form Increases Perceived Value

Dr. Alain Samson on PsychologyToday.com points out people are willing to pay more for that physical product & experience than for a digital product. It has something to do with a sense of ownership and a higher perceived value of a tangible item.

Most people never think to walk into a store, grab an item and walk out without paying. Yet the same people do it all the time with digital products. There is a feeling of lesser value and non-ownership – which translates into “non-connection.”

Let’s Think Even More Creatively

Does just “getting physical” solve your challenge? Sorry Olivia Newton-John, it does not.

It’s clear that upping our game from 100% digital to include something tangible is a super smart idea – but some of these physical touches call for a significant investment of time. Events, Books, Courses – they’re awesome – and they take up our time.

It’s important for any next move you take to be the right one – so let’s dig in to see what tangible product would be the perfect choice for you, your content and your target market.

When you’re inviting your community to come get physical with you and you’re being sensitive to their time – you’re thinking about how to bite size the experience.

Remember those physical books piled up by my bedside? The ones from my heroes & mentors that are full of valuable, respected knowledge? I touch them more to dust them off than to read them because I rarely make the time to read more than a page and end up feeling frustrated by the experience.

There is another printed option though, that allows me to pause, read and reflect without feeling like I’m failing or not doing enough.

This New Option Offers A Perfect Portion

I’m talking Custom Card Decks.

Lighter & smaller than a book, more permanent than an Instagram or Facebook meme. A card deck with your custom content is the perfect vehicle for bite-sized, easily digestible jewels of valuable knowledge and information. I fell in love with the medium from the beginning and vowed to make card decks a part of my own publishing plan.

If, like me, you’ve already published a book – it’s the perfect companion piece. I’ve lost count of how many people have bought my “Self Love” Card Deck after buying my book. Because it’s so easy to pull out a card and read a short and sweet snippet at anytime in any minute. And then, holy crap, those cards make your clients want to read more in your book.

Your Custom Content Card Deck can compliment your coaching program long after a session ends, prep your client to dive even deeper with you on a VIP day, or just introduce them to your gift, your system – without overwhelming them trying to digest too much at once. It’s the old story – how do you eat an elephant ? One bite at a time…

Your Custom Content Card Deck can be a stand-alone source of new wisdom for your clients, like my “I AM Power Connector Cards.”

In that one minute of pulling a card, your client has connected with you and your message. And unlike a “click” or “swipe” on a digital screen, your custom content card deck keeps giving. Your message stays with them – literally in the palm of their hands.

It’s all in how you play your cards.

Want To See Eleven Real Life Examples Of Custom Card Decks In Action?

You’ll see how other people have created card decks that offer a bite size physical touch to their people.

Your “BUT” has Gotten Way too Big

Yes, my ass is on the line here. I’m the first one to the left. (That’s me in my 2nd figure competition) You may say, not bad for a 53 year old ass, BUT…..

I realized during a recent conversation with a friend that my BUT had gotten way to big.

It was time to pull back and access the situation.

Unless you’re Kim Kardashian, you may not be proud of your big but(t). As a matter of fact, you may not want to admit that you have a huge but(t) that is causing a lot of unnecessary stress to your life.

Take a deep breathe because what I am revealing here may be challenging for you to hear. This self reflection stuff (aka: taking ownership of the things you do) is not aways easy. It takes a big girl to realize she’s got a big BUT(T) standing in her own way.

How often do you catch yourself saying, “I would, BUT….”?

I bet it’s a lot more than you care to admit. Let’s be honest, naked and vulnerable right now. Your big but(t) may be in your way and holding you back from living your fullest and best life.

There are 2 ways that your big but(t) can hold you back. One is physically and one is emotionally.

Let us address the physical BUTT first.

If you are feeling that your butt is too big, you’re being self critical and most likely not participating in extreme self love and care. When you truly embrace self love and treat yourself from that loving place, you don’t pick on your body parts.

You don’t compare them or judge them. When you are fully in the process of extreme self love and care, you treat your body with respect. Not only in what you think about it, but also in how you talk about it, refer to it and feed it.

Extreme self love allows you to practice acts of kindness towards your body.

Consciously choose food that is good for you and treat your precious body well. When you eat healthy whole unprocessed foods (I call these naked food), your body responds well.

Continued eating in this loving style brings you easily and gently to your perfect weight. Perfect because deep down you’ve lightened up knowing that you have treated your body temple with the divine care it deserves. It’s a great feeling when the scale, the numbers and the size no longer matter. Being true to yourself is the only thing that counts.

So where in your life are you allowing self sabotage, self denial, lack of self care and love?

What has to change for you to put your self love first?

Let’s address the emotional BUT.

This one is a true pain in the BUT(T). When you suffer from this, you create big ass blocks to the things you really want.

Because putting a “BUT” into your command sentence allows you to play it small. The thing you attach to the end of your “BUT” holds power over you.

It has the perfect amount of power to stop you from getting the very thing you say you want. There’s one reason we use this BUT for stopping us. It’s because you are afraid. You’re afraid of that thing you want either because you don’t believe enough in yourself to think you can have it or you’re scared you’ll look stupid if you don’t actually succeed.

Either fear based reason butts you right up against a wall and stops you.

Using my body building figure competition as an example, I had a very big BUT staring right at me. Here’s how it sounded.

“I want to enter a figure competition…

but I’m too old,
but I have too much weight to lose
but I’ve never done it before
but what if I start and I can’t finish
but what if I look like an idiot on that stage?

I could have easily picked anyone of these 5 but’s and hung on to them. They could have worked as a grandiose excuse and opportunity to play my life small. Today instead of writing this blog, I would be wishing I had done it and filled with a whole lotta regrets.

Thankfully I did not attach myself to the fear and instead I let go of the “but”.

I stepped up on my stage!

That one moment of the baring of the butt, transformed my life in ways I could not have imagined at the time. What appeared to be a physical transformation ( and it was) was more profoundly a spiritual AH-HA.

I would be an ass, (sorry I couldn’t help myself) if I let you off the hook here.

Ask yourself what it is you want for yourself if you could just do it without any asinine excuse getting in your way.

Where in your life do you let your “BUT” interfere?

What would happen if you deleted that concept from your vocabulary list?

How would your life improve?

What scary thing would you step into?

I love self reflective questions.

In my Happiness Intensive Program, questions are key. How else do you get the answer if you don’t ask the question?

Scary is good…even though it sure doesn’t feel it at the time. Things that scare you are like a set of keys for opening all kinds of doors that lead to opportunities.

For me, standing on that stage, was the catalyst for publishing my book, Sleeping Naked After 4o, and the basis for what I share with you now.

If your self conversation is stuck in the fear zone and loves to talk you out of things that set your soul on fire, check out the Happiness Intensive. Because I belief with all my heart that

When we get to the naked truth of who you are and what you are here to do, happiness follows every time!

I hope I’ve inspired you to do something that scares you,

Say Goodbye to your Evil Step Sisters, Woulda, Coulda and Shoulda

These three relentless undying siblings are the secret to your pain, angst and regret. When we direct our attention to the things we did that we wish were different, we set ourselves up for suffering.

The evil ones are intently waiting on your every move for the opportunity to dance at your pity party. They are standing in full out garb ready to make it a full-on Dance of the Dead sequel. These zombies of regret aren’t pretty.

You can always conjure up the thing that you did that you coulda done differently. You can always conjure up what you woulda done differently if “this or that” or “he or she” did something different. You can always conjure up what you shoulda done, once your hindsight is 20/20.

Now that you know this, it’s time to say goodbye (kinda like unfriending them on Facebook). Your life is by invitation only. You’re the one sending out the invitations. You get to choose who you hang out with. So leave them behind and let’s get this party started without them.

What can you do to stop regrets from creeping in?

Maybe you coulda, maybe you woulda, and maybe you shoulda. The fact is that you didn’t. You can’t go back and change any of that. But what you can change is the way you look at it from the vantage point of right now.

Life is filled with lessons. This is how we grow. It’s for our soul growth that lessons present themselves to us like little hidden gifts. Our life lessons take us closer to knowing who we really are.

Lessons are constantly coming but if you learn from them, they won’t need to be repeated.

I lost my home 10 years ago, and spent many years mourning that loss. Even now, when the moon of regret is full, that nasty one, Shoulda, rises up for a quick visit. She reminds me that I shoulda been more careful. I shoulda been smarter. I shoulda got a job. I shoulda set it up differently.

You get the point…

If you want to be happy, you have to tell her to go away.

You have to choose not to hang with her or let her drag you down.

So what do you do when you have one or all of these three sister’s rearing their ugly heads and ranting in your ear?

Put your earplugs in and your blinders on and look forward

… and you keep looking forward, and you keep looking forward and toward your light. Pay no attention to those haunting voices. Your attention feeds them. However, if you don’t pay them any mind, they get tired and they go away.

Take a deep look at what you did learn and write it down

… include a list of all the golden gifts you received. For me, using my house example, I learned that it was my lack of self love that led me to that messy financial situation. It was my lack of self love that caused me to have to give up my home. I learned that a house does not define me but being at home with myself does. My gift is this lesson and it’s a big one.

So it’s okay… and I’m okay.

I want you to be okay with things that happened in your past. Give yourself the gift of putting your past to rest – allowing your present to be at peace.

Practice doing something different when your evil step sister visits with her haunting voice. How can you find the gift?

Once you find the gift, it works like kryptonite, and her voice loses all power over you.

Let’s get this party started!

Psst…one more thing. If you’re serious about putting the past really behind, I put together something to help you. I can help you amp up your happiness with the Happiness Intensive.

I believe happiness is the result of owning the gifts you’ve been given.

That can be challenging when the threesome is holding you down. In this course, (and it’s 2 weeks of really digging in) we’ll get to the naked truth of who you are. Once you embrace that, nothing can hold you back.

I’ve seen it over and over again, happiness follows every time. Come on over and check it out.

To your freedom and your happiness,

xx00,

What to Do When You Have to Give Up Coffee

What if you had to get off of coffee?

No friggin way!

That’s what I said to my holistic nutrition doctor, when he said, “You have to stop drinking coffee”.

So let me be clear before I tell you the rest of the story. I’m not trashing coffee or telling you to stop drinking coffee. I love coffee.

There is something about the ritual of every morning. The smell. The being served coffee in bed on the weekends :-). That is all cool.

But it didn’t stop there for me. I found myself with a cup of coffee in my hand all friggin’ day long. Morning into the afternoon into the evening. I would be the first to tell you that I was not addicted, because I thought I could stop whenever I wanted to, however, I didn’t stop,

until…

my blood work came back showing adrenal fatigue and gut issues that were obviously not helped by my obsessive consumption of caffeine. Too much of anything is just too much.

These results didn’t sit well with me as I am super conscious of what and how I eat. So my “no friggin’ way” turned into “okay” once I had clear evidence in my face. In my face also was the fact that I was being abusive with coffee, not using it as a treat or something very special.

My “okay” then turned into, “I am officially choosing to not drinking coffee”.

It’s been 4 months now and I am good with my decision because I’ve found new things that I love to fill it’s place…

So many of you have been asking me how I did it. So here the big reveal.

How did I stop drinking coffee?

I must say that the Universe helped me out here. I wound up with a lovely little cold simultaneously coming along as I made my decision to stop. Losing my appetite and taste bud ability for 3 days, gave me the opportunity to stop right there. Already feeling crappy, I barely noticed the caffeine withdrawal added on top of it. However, I don’t recommend catching a cold to stop your coffee addiction. You can eat more greens and start with a substitution of something warm and yummy to replace it. Stay steady and you’ll get thru it nicely.

What’s a good replacement ?

Let me warn you first. Ignore the word “mushroom” if you have a preconceived notion that mushrooms are yucky or you don’t like them. Trust me you don’t taste any mushroominess in these lattes. You do however feel the health benefits of these medicinal babies throughout your body after you sip one down.

So here’s what happened. I accidentally came upon this most amazing product as I was ordering my coffee one day at the Whole Foods coffee bar. I saw a little envelope that caught my attention, purchased it and took it home. I had forgotten about this little packet until I was looking for a substitute and then I did my taste test and research.

Four Sigmatic is a superfood company founded by a group of Finnish Funguys. They use functional mushrooms and adaptogens by incorporating them in mainstream products like coffee, tea and cacao. Founded in 2012, they came to U.S. in 2015.

The company is super cool and the products are superfood. They have many products and I haven’t tried everything. Yet. I am sharing the Latte collection that I personally have tried.

Not an addiction but an addition.

I’m pretty certain you’ll be a fan even before you taste it. Once you know the health and beauty benefits it’s a no brainer. You’ll not just want to use these products as a replacement but to add them as a standard in your diet.

Here’s my opinion.

This one I love love love… my fave hot chocolate. So so dreamy and with benefits like reduced stress and relaxation, what’s not to love!

I’ve mixed it with water and also tried almond milk. The almond milk version is super decadent. Your nightly ritual is about to get an upgrade with this hot cacao mix of reishi. Reishi is one of the world’s most studied mushrooms that’s been shown to help support sleep and occasional stress. Reishi is so esteemed that in ancient scroll paintings, it’s often depicted as the “bridge between Earth and Heaven”.

Other nicknames for this regal fungi include “mushroom of immortality,” “mushroom of spiritual potency,” and “rule of herbs”. I mean, come on… it’s a drink fit for a Goddess.

This one is my 2nd fave as I can go anywhere and have a green matcha latte with absolutely no fuss… All I need is some hot water and I’m good to go.

This one is great for hanger pains…either before or after meals.

The mix is ceremonial grade matcha with smooth coconut milk, gut-supporting maitake mushrooms, and superherb moringa. You just add the hot water.

No judgement here! If coffee is working for you, really honestly working for you, do coffee. And if you’re unhappy with your coffee relationship for any reason, change it up. Either stop altogether or cut down by adding some of these gorgeous options into your drinking repertoire.

What’s the magic?

The magic is in the mushroom……

REISHI for stress and sleep – if you have occasional stress and difficulty sleeping, reishi mushroom can help you relax and get a good night sleep.

CORDYCEPS for energy and performance – cordyceps is an adaptogen, not a stimulant, so it helps you produce and maintain steady energy levels. Where coffee can give you an energy spike, followed by a crash; cordyceps, on the other hand, helps your body produce its own energy.

CHAGA– antioxidant properties – chaga mushroom can help support immune functions. It is called the king of mushrooms. You’ll find growing naturally in the wild and it has antioxidant properties.

LION’S MANE-brain & nervous system – lion’s mane is an all-natural cognitive enhancer. It has been shown to support memory and concentration.

Here are my 4 top reasons to drink mushroom lattes.

Health – Medicinal benefits of mushrooms are too many to name for this short blog post (see above as a start) and check out Four Sigmatic website for more info on how mushrooms support and enhance your health.

Beauty – Beauty from the inside out is what mushrooms can offer you. This golden latte with shiitake mushrooms and turmeric will have your skin glowing. One of the most underrated mushrooms for skin, shiitake has been used for centuries to support full body wellbeing. Paired with turmeric’s potential antioxidant properties, this delicious mix supports the skin. Cozy up with a cup, and your inner glow might have you skipping right past the makeup department.

Deliciousness – Yum ! There are many different flavors so you’re best to experiment and see which one flavors you prefer. I love the chocolate latte. It definitely feels like a warm hug.

Ease – Take the packets with you and at anytime of the day, or most anyplace you are, you can find a cup of hot water to mix it with. Since these lattes are filling, they’ll sub in nicely as a snack or pick me up. I even made myself a chocolate chai latte on the plane ride to Sedona.

Enough said. Let your tastebuds do the talking.

Four Sigmatic is chock full of yumminess. The Funguys at Four Sigmatic have made consuming mushrooms and superfoods delicious and super easy to do with their with their cacao’s and elixirs. Simply add products to hot water, mix into your smoothies, shakes, add to one of your favorite recipes or try their recipes.

I haven’t gotten around to whipping up any recipes yet, but this recipe is a keeper and next on my list. Reishi Cacao Taco’s. I mean seriously !!!!

CLICK here & search under recipe tab for Reishi Cacao Taco’s

I’ll keep you posted on the results. And please keep me posted on yours. Share with me what you think of these wonderful new lattes and elixirs and how you are using them.

Happy sipping!

Psst. You know how that I only promote products I love and use myself. Because I am a raving fan of Four Sigmatic, their message and their products, I want to share what I discovered with you. Just so you know, I have partnered with Four Sigmatic to spread the word and I do include an affiliate link in this blog.

Soul Growth Lessons

Soul growth lessons don’t always come in boxes. This time though, my soul lesson came with a truck full of them.

For the past 2 years, 80% of my material belongings lived in a storage unit.

Due to a certain circumstances beyond my control, (the details aren’t the important part of the story, so I’ll keep it short for the sake of your time) I was forced to move from my apartment. It was a quick and unexpected exit so storage seemed the best option for this transition time. Only a few items remained with me.

I spent months crying over not having my stuff. Always seeming to be needing the thing that I couldn’t get to.

It took time to process what happened and make decisions on what I wanted for my life. Two years to be exact! In those 2 years, I got to feel what it felt like to be without my “beloved stuff”.

The good news is that I survived.

The other good news is that I learned huge lessons along the way as part of the bigger plan. Patience, compassion, forgiveness were on top of that list. Shockingly, me the woman with hundreds of shoes, realized that I don’t “stuff” to be happy.

This week, I consciously chose to reunite with my belongs and take them out to be with me.

While it felt like a fun shopping spree to peak in the boxes at what I hadn’t seen in 2 years, my state of happiness didn’t change.

When large events happen in our life, there in that moment we get to learn more about ourselves. The move out 2 years ago was very traumatic for me. I’ve moved many times in my life and most of them not for happy reasons. I could have allowed this move to shift my consciousness back to the trauma of why I moved.

But this time was different. I chose to break that old pattern and to do it differently.

This was a great move. It was great because I chose to make it that way. I chose to make it a fun adventure and not attach meaning to any of it.

How cool that we get to do that! With the gift of free will, we always have the opportunity to choose differently. That’s what I call freedom.

The challenges you currently face may feel hard right now. If you dig a little deeper and allow the lesson to come to the surface, you’ll understand that all was divinely guided.

You’ll realize that lessons come for your soul’s growth. That self reflection enhances your spiritual growth and well being.

I am so grateful for all of it, for the rediscovery of my books and shoes and clothes that I had forgotten about. But mostly for the profound lesson that happiness resides inside of me; not in any material object that I have or don’t have in my possession.

Has there been a challenging time in your life, where you realized the lesson was your biggest gift?

I hope there was something here for you. Share and comment below.

Psst… remember, your only job is to light up the world with your brilliance. Get on it!