Self Love

The Self Love Question You Must Ask Yourself Daily

April 21, 2020 By Rosie Leave a Comment

It often takes a crisis of the craziest kind to wake us up. Have you ever had the experience of a 2 x4 smashing into your head or feel like you’ve hit rock bottom and then smash your head on the rock?

You get the picture. It ain’t pretty.

I personally had somewhat of a thick head and chose to learn lessons the hard way. Until I had my world crumble under me, I did’t see the signs.

I’m talking about the SELF LOVE sign. Also called the wake up and love yourself message…

The sign leads to love

If you miss the signs all hell breaks loose.

You might say this is what hell on earth looks like. Lack of self love creates a messiness for you and for everyone in your life. When you’re not loving yourself, how could you expect anyone else to love you? Your deficiency in the self love department attracts to you those persons that will mirror back what you think of yourself.

You choose those people that will say out loud to you the hurtful things things you actually think and say about yourself. It continues with the blame game because of course it’s everyone else’s fault. When you blame everyone else, you make yourself the victim. Victims have no power….

Not pretty. Not attractive. Not healthy. And it feels bad.

You don’t have to live there.

The good news is that you can change all that. You can learn to love yourself no matter where you are, where you’ve been, what you’ve walked thru or how many 2 x 4’s have hit you in the head.

Mastering the Art of Self Love

I had a very open deep conversation with Tisha Lee from Shining Self. It came clear to me that although we struggled with different things, we both struggled, and we both came to the realization that it was that lack of self love, the feeling less than, feeling broken, feeling disconnected that drew her to drinking and drew me to an eating disorder and both of us to poor relationship choices.

In this podcast, I share more about my story and my switch from “not enough” to “perfect love”. You’ll learn what was going on and how I pulled myself out of that state and began to fall in love with myself one day at a time. And I still continue to do that. I call self love an art and a practice. It must be practiced everyday. And it can be artfully crafted in different ways for different people depending on the day or situation.

It comes down to healthy boundaries, personal responsibility and what we are willing to accept for ourselves. How much love will we allow ourselves to receive?

One of the things I do consistently is ask myself this questions:

Is this the most loving thing I can do right now?

It’s seriously one of the best tools for accessing any situation you find yourself in. It’s perfect for tapping into your in own intuition, your inner guidance, your higher self, your god-self.

Take a listen here for the rest of the conversation between Tisha and I.

Listen in as Tisha and I share our stories.

Today, I sit here with gratitude for the messy stuff . Those things in my life led me to discover my love of self and to understand that my lack of it was the reason for the poor choices that I made along the way. Self love is the foundation.

When you love yourself, the game changes.

Self love is an action, a constant continuing evolving state. It’s a feeling.

Self love is a way you show up. Everyday in every way, self love must be present if you want to be the woman that God intended you to be. We are not here to play small and scared. We are not here to operate from lack or not enoughness or brokenness. That’s a bunch of B.S.

How cool is it that all you need is already inside you. Once you discover that, there is nothing to search for or fix.

My gift to you

Free self love you-tensils

I’ve got something for you. It’s a self love letter (template) and let me tell you, if you’re just beginning, this can be a difficult thing to fill out. I remember not being able to thing of nice thing to say about myself. How sad! The person that asked me to tell him something I loved about myself, was a personal trainer, and I had no answer.

I began from that day, taking it step by step, piece by piece until I could recite one thing and then 2 and then more and more… until I completely turned myself around.

These tools are my gift to you, a self love letter and a self love meditation meditation to turn things around for yourself.

If you’re ready to learn more and take a deeper dive, come on in and Build Your Self Love Muscle with me.

xxoo,

A Brand New Perspective

January 10, 2020 By Rosie Leave a Comment

Every moment of every day is a opportunity to make a new and different choice.

If where you are isn't feeling so good right now, you have within you, the power to change that right now.

Imagine that for a moment !

This is incredibly wonderful news, especially when you're in the midst of struggle, angst, challenge. If you knew that you could "snap" out of it, at any point you choose, it certainly would lighten up the challenging part. Wouldn't it?

Hold on a sec. I hear you may be saying "Rosie, you're making light of my difficult moments. It's not that easy to snap out of it".

Just for a moment , humor me. What if it were actually that easy? What if you could change your perception on a situation and watch the situation change right before your eyes? These type of perception corrections feel like miracles. And they are. And they are possible. At every moment of every day. (btw, miracles aren't always big grandiose events, they happen anytime you see things from a more enlightened view point. They are natural parts of life and they happen everyday. Be open to them and you'll be amazed at how often they swirl around you)

We are programmed to believe that change has to be hard. We are programmed to believe that struggle and challenge is how it's supposed to be. These thoughts of struggle and challenge are not conscious. They are deeply embedded in our subconscious from past and prior experiences. We pull all of our thoughts from our past experiences. Our thoughts are based on what we previously experienced and learned from school, TV, parents, friends, government. We don't consciously recognize that we're having thoughts that are based on our past, but it's true. Everything you see is translated and measured by what you've experienced prior to now.

Let's look at an example. We've all heard that "artists are starving". You've placed that somewhere in your subconscious and there it sits in your "operating system" just waiting for that moment to remind you of your rule. You may have used that belief on yourself - talking yourself out of pursuing a creative endeavor and you may have even used it on others, to convince your child or your a friend that they need to find a secure position instead of a creative one. The thinking behind this is your belief that it could potentially, according to your old belief system, make them starve. Deep down you’re trying to protect yourself from “starving”. The truth is holding back a God given talent and your creativity is seriously painful as it depletes your heart and starves your soul.

I know. Ugh! Because it's not really true that artists starve now, is it? Think Walt Disney, Grandma Moses, Sylvester Stallone. They kept going when the going was tough, when they were rejected and told they should move on to something else.

Now imagine if these creative souls had decided to give up on their dreams because of the possibility that they might starve because of it. What if they all went and go themselves a “secure” position somewhere. OMG... the world would miss out on the beauty and talent and gifts that were meant to be shared and that bring all of us joy!

Miracles happen everyday and anything is possible.

Imagine that for yourself. Write it down and tape it on your refrigerator.

Imagine if you could develop a new way of thinking that included not being stuck in your old limiting beliefs and patterns.

When you change the way you think, your life will dramatically change for the better. If you like this idea, it is going to involve your participation and some self reflective work. But trust me on this one, the effort you put in to enhance and grow yourself will bring peace and joy to your daily life.

Here are 3 principles you can begin to practice right now.

You will be amazed at how differently you will feel, almost immediately. Eventually you'll become so good at it, you won't even recognize that your doing anything at all. You'll just begin to feel more peaceful and joy filled.

1) Recognize that everything you think, was learned from someone or something. Remind yourself of this whenever you have a thought. Ask yourself, is what I'm thinking really true or is there another way to look at it?

2) Understand that what others say has nothing to do with you. They are basing their thoughts and opinions on their learned programming and operating system. So don't mix their crap with your crap and expect to get anything good out of it. Knowing this will help you take other people's opinions with with a grain of salt. Remember that "others peoples opinions are not of your business". Plant that new rule and begin to mind your own business.

3) Change your perspective. When you're thinking thoughts that don't feel good, when you're thinking thoughts that make you shrink, contract, feel tight, ask yourself if there is another way to look at it? What is the other view point that I can't see right now? Here's where you can add in a little prayer, as simple as saying, "God, help me to see this situation as you would see it?" Wherever you are standing, look around, physically move your location to the opposite side of the room, and look around. You're in the same room but things look different. Add that to your arsenal of proof that a few small steps can make a big difference.

Give these ideas a whirl. Take these inspirations for a ride.

Tap into your tenacity. Sprinkle on some grace.

You will find yourself in the most amazing place and better able to handle all the stuff that life throws at you from a more stable, centered, aligned place.

PS. If you're ready for change, ready to view situations, circumstances and events from a different perspective, New Beginnings is the perfect place to start. In this LIVE mini workshop, (offered only once a year in January) we'll take a good look at where you are and where you want to be. Together in this class, you'll let go of the old, be grateful for now and welcome in the new. Of course there's much juicy stuff you'll learn. I can't tell you all of it here 🙂 Join me and get the clarity you crave for creating a year of 2020 with vision and purpose.

Choosing Growth Over Comfort

September 7, 2019 By Rosie 26 Comments

When was the last time you did something that scared you… something outside your comfort zone?

Today, I’m having an OMCZ kinda day. That’s short for “Outside My Comfort Zone”…

I’m finalizing the edits on my online video course where I teach entrepreneurs how to create a card deck. I’ve done a fair amount of uncomfortable things in my life and after many years of working it, got a good grip on being able to feel the fear and do it anyway.

But damn!

That little bugger of an ego, is quite tenacious and persistent.

The ego is the part of us that is invested in keeping us small and scared. You’ll know it’s showing up when you hear it’s incessant voice in your head, the one that tries to convince you how you can’t do something. And it talks some crazy sh*t…

Although my course subject is one I’m really good at, one that is very familiar to me, one that comes really easy to me, I still have that dang voice talking nonsense.

It doesn’t care about the truth. It’s only interested in how you can’t. It happens to be worried that my course is too long or too short, or too good or not good enough, or too much information or not enough information. It’ll say things like, “What if people don’t buy it and what if they don’t like it?”.

OMG! What if they hate it?

OMCZ! You see the drama we create for ourselves.

As if that wasn’t enough on my plate, I signed up for another competition this week.

NO! NO! It’s not another bodybuilding figure competition. I’ve done that twice already and I think that might be enough for one lifetime. (Ok! If you’re curious, I’ve posted the picture at the bottom for you)

This competition is called Stretch Yourself Challenge.

My business coach Kelly McCausey has been holding this challenge for the past 10 years. This is my first year stretching myself and building my content marketing muscles.

Participants choose from 15 challenges that must be completed within 30 days. It’s a competition where you compete against the weight of your own limiting beliefs. She’s made if fun by dangling yummy prizes!

Once again, the goal is to stretch beyond what you usually do. Another push out of the comfort zone with the ultimate goal to grow yourself and your business.

And what is comfort anyway?

Just as an FYI, growth and comfort cannot coexist.

Given that option, I choose growth. Unless your talking shoes – then comfort always wins.

Anyway, I’m inviting you to see where you are willing to do something scary, step it up, stretch OYCZ (outside your comfort zone), so that you can grow.

Whether you have a formal competition you can enter, prizes you want to win or even if and especially when no one is watching – can you stretch yourself, step in what might feel uncomfortable and embrace the growth?

With that question on your mind, you might start hearing that voice chime in, whispering unsweet nothings. You might here things like, you never finish anything, why start now, it’s too late, you’re not good enough, you don’t have the money, you don’t have the time, you don’t have the support and blah blah.

I’m not ready to let any small talk stop me — not this time and not anytime — because I know it’s just a trick.

This is what I do to get myself out of a situation where I’m being pulled away from what I know is good for me.

I practice my core principle of “FALL IN LOVE WITH THE IDEA”. In this case, that looks like my card deck course helping hundreds of heart centered authors, speakers and coaches get their message out into the world in a fun and beautiful way. I’m also falling in love with the idea that my Facebook Live (the one I chose for Kelly’s Stretch Yourself ) will be super fun and informative and that I’ll be the winner of that prize I’m wanting.

So I focus on that.

I let the ego play its game and then I thank it for sharing. Then firmly tell it, “I’m not interested in why I can’t” and explain that “I’ve fallen in love”.

Then somehow magically, my heart begins to lead the show, allowing opportunity, possibility, excitement and fun to show up all around me.

What are you willing to stretch yourself with ? Are you willing to allow your heart to lead your show?

xxoo,

PS. Sure! Go ahead and try my technique and see how it works for you. I’d love to hear about your experiment.

Here I am at 53… super proud of myself for stepping it up and OMCZ for this one!

Say Goodbye to your Evil Step Sisters, Woulda, Coulda and Shoulda

June 24, 2019 By Rosie Leave a Comment

These three relentless undying siblings are the secret to your pain, angst and regret. When we direct our attention to the things we did that we wish were different, we set ourselves up for suffering.

The evil ones are intently waiting on your every move for the opportunity to dance at your pity party. They are standing in full out garb ready to make it a full-on Dance of the Dead sequel. These zombies of regret aren’t pretty.

You can always conjure up the thing that you did that you coulda done differently. You can always conjure up what you woulda done differently if “this or that” or “he or she” did something different. You can always conjure up what you shoulda done, once your hindsight is 20/20.

Now that you know this, it’s time to say goodbye (kinda like unfriending them on Facebook). Your life is by invitation only. You’re the one sending out the invitations. You get to choose who you hang out with. So leave them behind and let’s get this party started without them.

What can you do to stop regrets from creeping in?

Maybe you coulda, maybe you woulda, and maybe you shoulda. The fact is that you didn’t. You can’t go back and change any of that. But what you can change is the way you look at it from the vantage point of right now.

Life is filled with lessons. This is how we grow. It’s for our soul growth that lessons present themselves to us like little hidden gifts. Our life lessons take us closer to knowing who we really are.

Lessons are constantly coming but if you learn from them, they won’t need to be repeated.

I lost my home 10 years ago, and spent many years mourning that loss. Even now, when the moon of regret is full, that nasty one, Shoulda, rises up for a quick visit. She reminds me that I shoulda been more careful. I shoulda been smarter. I shoulda got a job. I shoulda set it up differently.

You get the point…

If you want to be happy, you have to tell her to go away.

You have to choose not to hang with her or let her drag you down.

So what do you do when you have one or all of these three sister’s rearing their ugly heads and ranting in your ear?

Put your earplugs in and your blinders on and look forward

… and you keep looking forward, and you keep looking forward and toward your light. Pay no attention to those haunting voices. Your attention feeds them. However, if you don’t pay them any mind, they get tired and they go away.

Take a deep look at what you did learn and write it down

… include a list of all the golden gifts you received. For me, using my house example, I learned that it was my lack of self love that led me to that messy financial situation. It was my lack of self love that caused me to have to give up my home. I learned that a house does not define me but being at home with myself does. My gift is this lesson and it’s a big one.

So it’s okay… and I’m okay.

I want you to be okay with things that happened in your past. Give yourself the gift of putting your past to rest – allowing your present to be at peace.

Practice doing something different when your evil step sister visits with her haunting voice. How can you find the gift?

Once you find the gift, it works like kryptonite, and her voice loses all power over you.

Let’s get this party started!

Psst…one more thing. If you’re serious about putting the past really behind, I put together something to help you. I can help you amp up your happiness with the Happiness Intensive.

I believe happiness is the result of owning the gifts you’ve been given.

That can be challenging when the threesome is holding you down. In this course, (and it’s 2 weeks of really digging in) we’ll get to the naked truth of who you are. Once you embrace that, nothing can hold you back.

I’ve seen it over and over again, happiness follows every time. Come on over and check it out.

To your freedom and your happiness,

xx00,

Seven Simple Steps for Springing on Self Care

March 4, 2019 By Rosie Leave a Comment

It’s time to Spring on some self care!

Let’s be real. Winter can knock your socks off and throw off even the most well intentioned plans of maintaining any form of self-care. Yes, this is really us… Roc and I … in our favorite winter position.

I’m just not a fan of the cold. I find myself asking winter after winter, why am I living in the north east.

Even if you are somewhat fond of the crisp cool air, your thigh high leather boots, and pretty falling snowflakes as they brush past your window, things feel more difficult on colder, darker, wintery days.

So it’s been a few months now tending towards cozying indoors, cuddling up with less activity, a little (and a lot) more snacking, and skimping on the self-care. You could be experiencing dry skin, chapped lips, pounds up and mood down.

By the end of February, I’ll admit, I’m a cranky house potato.

So what are you going to do to add in some much needed self caring?

Open up the windows and let the light in. Start adding back those self-caring rituals that slowed down during the winter months.

Here are 7 simple and easily implementable steps to shake the winter from your bones and welcome spring with your best foot forward. I’ve even added in a *super easy* option where available. You’ll be left with no excuses for why you can’t pull your self-care off the couch and spring them into practice.

1. Drink a celery juice daily for a week (or longer) – Make your own celery juice by adding 5 stalks of celery and 1/2 fresh lemon into your juicer. A decent juicer (like the Breville) costs as low as $120. If investing in a juicer is not ideal, visit your local health food store, or a Whole Foods and have them make one for you. Studies show that celery juice can reduce inflammation and boost cardiovascular health. The perfect antidote for rebooting out of flu season. Celery is also easy to juice, inexpensive to buy, and the stalks have a great shelf-life in your fridge so you can stock up.

Finally the *super easy* option: drive to Trader Joe’s and stock up for the week on their already bottled cold pressed green juice (with super fabulous clean ingredients of kale, spinach, apple, cuke, celery, lemon and ginger) for only $3.99.

2. Get outside daily – Dress weather appropriately and get your butt outside. You can find 15 minutes to move your body. One strategy I have used is to set my phone timer for 8 minutes and walk. Once the timer goes off, I turn around and try to make it back in 7 min! Shaving a minute off is a fun way to hold me accountable for a “brisk” walk. Check out the trees and breathe deeply. Take some inspiration from Albert Einstein who said, “Look deeply into nature and you will understand everything better.” If you’re doubting that 15 minutes could matter, scientific research suggests that even a small amount of exercise – like that 15 minutes a day – could lower your risk of depression.

3. Breathe lavender nightly – Helping you relax and fall into a restful sleep, lavender has been found to help increase slow wave sleep, slowing heartbeat and relaxing muscles. It’s soothing and calming properties reduce stress making it’s use a perfect bed time enhancer. Simply add 5 drops of lavender to a diffuser and turn it on when you get into bed.

I am an essential oil girl- I love the stuff. The difference on the nights I use my lavender and the nights I don’t, is a difference in a good nights sleep. The stuff feels magical.

The *super easy* option: put 2 drops of lavender into your hand, rub your hands together, cup your hands around your nose and inhale. (be sure to use a top grade essential oil)

4. Put your feet first (at least) twice a month – Reflexology, pedicures…ahhh!!! Book the appointments. The *super easy* option: do it yourself by taking a small pail or tub filled 1/2 way with warm water. Adding in 1/2 cup epson salt, 1/2 cup baking soda, 1/2 cup apple cider vinegar, 3 drops of frankincense or lavender essential oil and your feet and you’ve got a luscious treat!

5. Close your kitchen by 7 pm on weekdays – Closing down the kitchen at 7 pm is simple and super effective way to reduce unnecessary caloric intake. The after dinner snacking and picking adds up, potential an upwards of 200-500 extra calories a day. Snacking can become ever more mindless when we are distracted by the latest Netflix saga. If you stop the mindless evening snacking, you’ll be shocked at how those uncomfortable pounds fall away. Your body will also appreciate not having to work overtime to digest food while it’s shutting down for the nite.

6. Say grace before every meal daily – Regardless of your practicing faith, we can all agree that two or three words silent words of gratitude or a heartfelt prayer prior to eating can help improve your mental space. This serves as a daily reminder of how blessed you are to have food to eat as well as a loving send off to the food you take into your body. And it slows you down… a little reminder for more mindfully and lovingly feeding your body.

7. Take fifteen minutes of “You time” daily – “You time” can look different to everyone. It can look like drawing, doodling, listening to your favorite music, reading a book, or even just sitting in silence. You choose! However, do something that has no obligation to work or family — just for you. Give yourself the space to just be free.

So easy! I know you can commit to incorporating some or all of these things on a consistent basis. You will feel amazingly better bringing your new habits into the new season. Use this as a reminder that with most of the winter in our rearview, it’s a great time to reinvest in practices of self-care.

I’d love to hear what worked for you and what rituals you’ll be springing on! Please comment below.

Much love being sent your way,

I’m social. Come say hi @rosiebattista on instagram and facebook or email [email protected]

How to Get Good at Self Love

May 9, 2016 By Rosie Leave a Comment

Self Love is an art and a practice.

The thing about a SELF LOVE practice is that you get to be in charge of how it unfolds. You can’t get it wrong or screw it up. You just keep practicing.

Everything improves with practice. 30 years ago I taught myself calligraphy by practicing every day for a few hours as I rode the ferry boat home from my job in NYC. And I got good at it. Good enough to create a lucrative small business that I was able to do when my children where growing up.

There are many benefits to the practice of self love. With self love in play, you can be free from victimhood to any situation, circumstance or relationship. During every interaction or encounter you gain the skill to look with different eyes and see more clearly what is real.

The idea is to feel good.

Okay, I’ll admit clarity can sometimes be annoying in it’s eye-opening way. Being awake and aware shows you many new things. It can sometimes feel like a heavy brick flung at your somewhat hard head. But the gentler you become with yourself (this happens thru your practice), the more you observe without judgment what is really true. I share with you my own experience as I consistently and continually work on noticing the role I am playing in a situation. I notice what part I own, what belongs to me and what doesn’t.

I don’t always get it right.

Sometimes I feel like crap (that’s a sure sign that I’m off my path) and so I get back on it when I am ready.

This practice and awareness is what gives me immense power in my life.

I used to live a life of “Why would they do that to me?” and “How could you do such a thing to me? It would drive me nuts to try and understand why people did what they did and why I was hurt over it. You know the kinda crap I’m referring to. The kind that makes you feel like crap. The kind that give you no control. The kind that serves no one and that ends you feeling miserable, unlovable and not enough. It’s much easier to change your own thoughts, your own actions, your SELF. And quite impossible of you to expect to change someone else. Seriously it will never happen. They won’t change for you or because of you.

Expecting someone else to change is a set up for disappointment. The sooner you embrace that idea that Self love is the answer to the change you desire, the more power-filled you become. Self love is the ultimate life changer.

Once you have a practice going, everything in your life will feel and look better. I promise. It goes like that. So if you are feeling a little or a lot like a victim, no matter what circumstance or what person is causing you to feel angst, I invite you to indulge in a massive dose of extreme self love and extraordinary self care. Here are 3 steps that you can walk into right now that will put your directly on the path to self love.

1) Lose the fake stuff and get real.

Make a daily game out of your meals. How much of your meal can you make healthier, real and naked (food in it’s own natural form)? Ask yourSelf at every meal, “Is this the most loving thing I can feed myself?” At first this may taste weird, but with practice your body will change for the better.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

2) Become less interested in why you can’t.

Make a daily game out of your words. Can you catch the times you’re trash talking about how you can’t do something? Stop it. Don’t speak those words. If you start to think these thoughts about yourSelf, notice the thought, and let if flow by. Then replace it with a new idea. At first this will sound weird, but with practice your thoughts will change for the better.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

3) Fall in love.

Can you get real with yourself? Before jumping in the shower, can you stand in front of the mirror and look at it? Can you say “HELLO GORGEOUS” followed by one nice compliment to and about yourself? You CAN find something ! Your hair, your eyes, your lips. Pick that thing and focus only on that one thing. Leave the rest alone. At first this may feel weird and different but with practice you will feel better and better.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

Let me know how your PRACTICE MAKES BETTER and post your comment below.